All the wishes in the world ...

Axel had a chat with the boys before we left, there has been a lot of tummy rubbing going on and we've been saying our prayers ...

... we're just back from the University Hospital in Leuven ...

It was a tough appointment.

All three boys were checked for growth and little T especially for functions and blood flow. After a difficult discussion with our doctor we also met with one of his colleagues.

There's just nothing that can be done to save T.

He has grown but there is no bladder activity, his amniotic fluid has decreased even more since last week and he is showing negative blood flow which means that his blood is not making it back to the placenta to be re-oxygenated.

We came home tonight knowing that we are going to have to say good bye to this little boy before we even get to meet him.

I wonder what color his eyes would have been?

After our appointment in Leuven, we called our primary OB/Gyn and talked through everything we had learned. I had his wife on the phone first. We are lucky to have a doctor and practice who has been incredible through it all.

I will be admitted to hospital tomorrow night for monitoring and a procedure that will hopefully safeguard T's brothers. I will stay at least 36 hours, maybe more depending on how things go and barring any complications.

We are in good hands and surrounded by so many people who care about us.

Thank you.

Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy !!!

First I should suggest you sit down before reading this. Honestly ... you should.

You see, while we did confess that we were pregnant again we didn't actually tell you we were pregnant with three! 

Yes, triplets ...

Let me tell you it was a huge shock to us too. We found out in a round-a-bout way at 9 weeks. And yes, I need to tell you about the day we woke up pregnant with one and went to bed pregnant with three. 

For now, the long story short is that there was another egg .. hiding .. and that egg split .. into two. Resulting in a set of identical twins plus a singleton.

Today we are 16 weeks pregnant with a nest of three babies. 

I took this picture this morning getting ready for an appointment at the University Hospital in Leuven. We'd been there before, three weeks ago. But also with Saskia and Arne. The best ultrasound technician is there and our doctor has been very proactive in making sure we get the best care and advice that's available.

An hour long appointment to allow for plenty of time to check and measure every aspect of each baby. The length of arm and thighbones, the circumference of their heads and abdomens. The workings of their hearts and bladders. And a measure of blood flow in and out of their hearts as well as umbilical cords. The heartbeats were monitored and when possible their sex is determined.

Yes, we did want to know. We've known about the two since our last visit three weeks ago but we sure were curious about the single. On the first pass through legs and feet were tucked so tight up under the bum that there was no way of knowing. A second pass a half hour later revealed clear evidence of a glowing little thing-a-ma-jig!!

So here you have it ... 

THREE BOYS!

Oh my ...

Thankfully we already have names including a contingency depending on whether #3 was a girl or boy. It meant a lot to know Saskia and Arne's names early on, especially when things were rough. They weren't just baby 1 and 2. So these three littles have fabulous names. Just first names. No middles for our boys, just like their dad. But we won't be giving them away just yet. 

We will, however; tell you their initials because it will be easier to tell their stories.

L, T & F

So, that scan ... one of the twins substantially smaller than the other two babies.

L and F are both measuring about 15cm / 6" - as they should. 

But little T is only about 12cm / 4-3/4" as if he were only 12 weeks old.

It's not a good sign, that's a big difference at this point in the game.

It's possible that it's a case of twin-to-twin-transfusion but the doctor said it's too early to confirm that. It's more likely that T is not getting his share of the twin placenta. 

So it's not only blood that he's lacking, but also nutrition.

To be honest, it doesn't look good for little T and that could affect his twin,
even both of his brothers. We just don't know. The doctors don't know.
Nothing is ever for sure.

I won't go into worst case scenarios or even possibilities right now. There are too many factors.

Too many what ifs.

We have another appointment in a week to check them all carefully again.

Then there is a possibility of a 2-3 day hospital stay for me .. likely towards the end of the next week or sometime the following week.

For right now, just know that we are doing ok. 

Your prayers and thoughts are especially appreciated. 

We know many of you have us there already - Thanks!