my little gentle man

Finn received the most adorable outfit 

from our dear friends, Jim & Siggy.

Now anybody can have a tshirt that says 

"mommy loves me" or "daddy's boy"

... but this one fits Finn to a T

Of course this picture shows off the outfit best.

 

 But you're more likely to get a pic of him being

a tad more silly

 

or a lot more cheeky, can you see the mischief in those eyes?

Of course if you knew Jim, you'd say he sprinkled cheeky powder on the outfit ... let's hope we have many more visits to and from Jim and Siggy. There's so much Finn can learn from them.

But of course he's the sweetest when he sleeps

all snuggled up with a bitty blue bear from Onkel Rolf.

 

One of Axel's oldest friends (they met around the age of ten), Onkel Rolf, came spontaneously (from Münich) for Finn's Christening and what a big help he was. There wasn't a task that he didn't tackle. He was momma's secret little weapon as he swept through the entire house tidying here, sweeping up there. There wasn't a corner that he missed. And all the while being the sweetest gentleman there ever was. There's a reason he and papa are still friends. And his momma hopes little Finn's follows very closely in Onkel Rolf's steps.

I nearly forgot to post this picture of Finn with Rolf .. isn't it lovely.
The mutual admiration is already visible.

These photos were all taken on Papa's birthday, the day after Finn's Christening. 

We were too pooped for much but luckily there was lots of cake left over!

Happy Happy Birthday Papa 

from your litte boy and his bitty bear.

Love you tons!

xox

( published 17 May 2013 )

Welcome Home Finn!

2 May 2013

Homeward Bound

It's Thursday morning, the 2nd of May and I'm feeling anxious and annoyed that we are still in the hospital. We are soooo close. Finn is doing sooo well, but in order to be discharged he needs to weigh 2300 grams / 5 lbs, 1 oz. I can't remember now what he weighed yesterday but I have it written down somewhere. But we were close .. really close.

I'm up, showered, dressed and half running the 50m to the NICU. Finn must weight enough today .. his weight gain over the last few days has been good and steady. Plus, I need out of here. I haven't been sleeping as well and it's just time to get our little family home, together, all under one roof.

When I go into wake him for his bath and first feeding, this is how I find him. Sleeping like a little angel. Not surprising that his hands are around his face. His chubby little hands, his chubby little face.

*** this picture makes me smile and wonder at the boy Finn has become ... he looks so much like this photo, he is learning to blow kisses and put's his big chubby hand up to his face, just . like . this. ***

I gently pull back his covers so he can wake slowly while I get his bath things together. He loves to sleep but part of the bathing / first diaper routine in the morning is to weigh him before the doctor does rounds. I've feeling positive and nervously excited. I address him, chatting as we go. Pick him up and lay him gently on the scale.

2285 grams / 5 lbs, 1/2 oz. 

My heart sinks and I am fighting back tears. We are 15 grams short. NO!!! I really don't think I can bear another day, but I have heard that today's rounds doctor is one of the more stickler ones ... I am fighting back tears but go about bathing, changing and dressing my sweet boy and wait for the doctor. I see her start to enter the NICU and a nurse rushes up to her. They chat quickly but I know they are discussing Finn. The doctor comes to talk to me before I've finished up with Finn.

I know she can see my disappointment, surely she can hear it in my voice. That I'm about to cry. That I'm about to crack. She checks Finn over, confirms his weight and says, hey, let's not quibble about 15 grams. ok ...

You can go home today. 

My heart stopped for a moment I am sure. 

We can go home!

We . can . go . home ...

But first we need to do a bunch of things and tests.

And I need to call Axel. Oh my gosh and empty my room. 

And get Finn ready.

• First one last ultrasound of his brain - all clear!
• Another echo of his heart (to track the bridge in his arteries .. it's *almost* closed)
• He needs his first round of vaccinations .. poor kid, not really what you want on the day you want to go home.
• His eyes are dilated and checked one . more . time (I think the 3rd, the have been fine every time. Finn never received oxygen so that helped.)
• I meet his primary children's doctor for the first time and do my best to concentrate.
• Axel needs to go to the University Hospital to pick up a monitor and attend a class on how to use it. 

Oh and I need to pack my room.

And get his clothes ready. 

His hat is finished but not his little pants I was still knitting.

We are finally there and it is time to go home.

Home with Finn.

All three of us together.

Before we can finish grabbing the last things, Finn is fast asleep.

Oblivious to the hustle and bustle.
Oblivious to the excitement.

Just trusting that momma and papa got this!

Once home, it's all about finding a new routine. I must say, Finn was not himself. His surroundings were so different. Noisier, more exhausting. Different. And he was exhausted from that last day. If I had known what I know now I would have done everything and then given him a day to recover.

Yeh, ha. Who am I kidding ... I wouldn't have.

Because it was time to go home.

And enjoy this ...



Finn all tucked up in his bed at home.

Sleeping sweetly.
Sleeping soundly.

For now.

Until his monitor started doing false alarms and waking us all from the deepest sleeps. That d@mn monitor ended up throwing us all off our rhythm and things were never quite the same again, But more about that later.

For now our boy is home.

Sleeping sweetly in his bed.

And when the baby sleeps, momma sleeps.


{ Written retrospectively, 2 May 2014. One entire year after Finn came home from the hospital }

2

Two little ducks came swimming by today 

to congratulate our little guy on 

TWO MONTHS

in this big wide world!

  

 Finn is swimming along too: gaining weight, eating like a trouper, 

staying awake and very alert after several feedings. 

He has started making eye contact and loves the sound of papa's voice. 

I imagine the whole world stops for Finn when Papa enters the room and he hears his voice. 

He eyes get very big and he turns his head to find him wherever he is. 

Enough to make a momma's heart melt again and again.

  

Of course Fynn dropped by too, to beg for a playdate.

The little guy is missing his best friend already 

and I can hardly wait to see them playing together.

And if you'd like a giggle, here are a couple of pictures to compare
just how much our big little boy has grown in one month.



 Bummer that he was a sleepy boy,
we didn't have much luck with eyes wide open.

And of course, I had to include an outtake for you, there are more here.



( published 6 May 2013 )

8 weeks

It is hard to fathom that 8 weeks have passed
since this little guy came into our lives.

He has brought us so much joy!

out-takes of this photo shoot can be seen here

Many thanks to Liz and Marlin for the gorgeous gifts that arrived in the post yesterday, blankets, burp rags and little Sophie! Do any of you remember Sophie? I think I had one when I was little ... I'll have to dig through my old toys. If I didn't then my brother did, she looks sooo familiar!

If you've never met a Sophie before, she's 7" tall.

I'm working my way through the many gifts we've received and will share photos as soon as I can ...

next best thing to being here for a party, right? I hope so ...

By the way, we've had a few emails and questions asking if we've "registered." 

No we haven't ... but I tried to explain a little here about what we need, what we have and how you can avoid postage ... if you feel compelled to send or bring something. But honestly, the gift of your friendship is the best we can ask for and we'd much rather you came for a visit and met our little guy. 

So save up your pennies ...

Hallelujah!

This little boy saw the 2 kilo mark ahead and decided he wouldn't bother stopping there!

He weighed in at a whopping 2025 grams / 4 lbs, 7 oz.

It's been quite a few days since we've seen the scale tip in the positive direction

... influenced by many factors ...

But today was landmark.

For momma too!

Her instincts were not only appreciated but respected and

we experienced the first real "discussion" with Finn's doctors

since we left UZ Gent.

It was a true exchange.

The doctor's ideas and medical reasoning.

Momma's instincts and bargaining skills.

Today was proof positive that we definitely made

the right decision to be here.

So Up UP and Away we go!!!

This Apple

On Sunday I finally got away from the hospital for a few hours. We are so much more comfortable at Maria Middelares and we both knew Finn would be just fine. It's the first time he's had a bottle in quite a few days but when we got back Nurse Isabel assured us it all went well.

So .. what did I do in those precious few hours at home? I organized our attic! Haha, yep, not at all what I had planned to do but with part 2 of Finn's baptism quickly approaching I needed to find my wedding dress. I want to reuse the voile and lace for his gown.

In the process of looking I found pictures .. the earliest pictures of Axel and myself as babies!

Seriously, isn't he the cutest?  

And this apple?  Well he sure didn't fall far from the tree!

 Yes, that is my finger!! Pointing at his big mouth and squealing "see, he looks JUST like you!"

Are you still wondering about the wedding dress? Well, we looked and looked, hunted high and searched low. We never found it! We found all kinds of things we didn't mean to but are helpful, but no wedding dress ... where oh where could it be?

The backup plan is/was for Finn to wear my christening gown .. 

haha, it's packed with my wedding dress!